Beast Of Boredom (from Destroying Lives For Fun And Profit, 1996)

(there are parts missing, some on purpose)

#1

punk rock girl

beautiful angel

a smile that touches the heart

voice on the country music radio

pretty little angel from up north

toughest kid I know

nothing’s gonna stop her

she’ll still be rocking when this whole place blows

#2

I don’t ask them how they are doing

Because they don’t care

When they ask

I don’t answer because they don’t care

I speak to them as little as possible

Because they are all evil

Every man is a wife beater

Every woman is a whore

And every child will grow up

And that is unforgivable

#3

all it takes is a little soul to destroy the world

and I’ve got a lot

#4

I’m sorry I stared at you

And didn’t say anything

It’s just that I still hurt

Thinking of you makes me lie awake at night

#5

your perfume is in the air

under the bright sun

a woman at the next table is wearing your fragrence

I love that smell

#6

I whisper your name at the walls

They throw my ignorance back in my face

#7

dry lips wet tongue

I swallowed your lies

My mouth is still burning from your love

#8

here I sit

in the quiet suburbs

it’s warm and sunny

the neighbors are out talking

the birds are singing

a light breeze blows through my window

I can’t remember a nicer day

And I’ve got Wayne Kramer cranked full blast

#9

walking through the Old City;

bums, students, happy couples, not-so-happy couples, artists, cops, drug dealers, missionaries, punks, rednecks, zombies, tourists, musicians and me

#10

sitting in Cookeville TN

watching the sun go down

waiting on her

thinking I probably should have stayed home

#11

on the interstate going east 4am

windows down pouring rain

Ramones blasting

#12

this

like everything else

is going to be

a bitch

#13

rain drops echo through my ears

like the beat of a satanic techno album

the lightning leaves a beautiful imprint on my eyes

it never seems to go away

my body presses against the window

I want the glass to give

So I can fly into the storm

#14

I thought about her last night

It made me feel cold and alone

I got to see myself through that shit

I can’t let a fucked up race

That doesn’t know how to love

Bring me down

#15

(missing)

#16

emotions fuck up my mind too often

#17

why can’t you grow up, little girl

why can’t you fuck off, little girl

why can’t I forget your name,

little girl

#18

your disease

it made you an alcoholic

it made you lean on drugs

it kept you from being the artist you could’ve been

it ate your soul

#19

no one wants to speak up

or stand up

or put up

or throw down

chicken shit

#20

I remember I could taste your beer

As my tongue rolled around in your mouth

#21

do you remember any of it

you started it

you stripped, not me

#22

I wanted to be there with you forever

With the sweet smell of your hair

And the warmth of your body

And your alluring smile…

What the hell was I thinking

#23

I’m not disappointed we never fucked

#24

she said, “Sometimes you look scary.”

Like when I know you’re lying to me,

Right?

#25

she doesn’t get enough…attention?

#26

sunset on Gay Street

walking around looking for inspiration

I find it on every corner

In every face

In every sound

#27

(missing)

#28

my fist

that wall

glad it’s not

you face?

#29

superimposed

superconformed

superbored

#30

no

I never loved you

Ever

#31

I don’t find this particularly amusing

#32

going from one relationship to another

setting myself up for hard falls

hoping for soft landings

I do it to myself

#33

sometimes I hate those I’m supposed to love

and they don’t care

#34

it’s not too late

#35

the beast is bleeding in the tub

Hendrix is on the stereo

The beast isn’t bored

Anymore

#36

this planet is too conservative for me

I’ve got to find one of my own

#37

is it insomnia or just the caffeine

2:00 am

the Rollins Band plays on for the fifth or sixth time

while another stepdad drinks himself to death down the hall

#38

I’m not happy tonight

#39

seeing her made me happy

I think I can face tomorrow

And maybe sleep a little

#40

I like the interstate

You can just drive and drive

Turn up REM

And fuck reality

#41

fucked up feelings

brain in slow motion

has my watch stopped

or did the world

#42

4 am

her place

a phone call woke us both up

I’ll be leaving soon

It’s storming outside

Just like it was when we fell asleep

What a night

#43

sick

dizzy

tired

hungry

thirsty (and)

miserable

nervous

broke

lonely

unsure

burnt out

but stronger than ever

#44

it’s the same damn thing

every fucking day

what am I doing so wrong

#45-47

(missing)

#48

yes I did it all to impress you

#49

where’s our voice of reason

in retirement

because we told them they were sellouts

for being on tv

and our world is falling apart

oh Superman where are you

we didn’t mean it

your major label debut doesn’t REALLY suck

it’s just not PUNK

you know?

#50

are we there yet?